Why Self-Evaluation is Key to Getting the Most Out of Mentorship
The goal of having a mentor is to boost or enhance your advancement towards life, academic or professional goals. There are a number of variables in play to maximize that boost, including (but not limited to) building trust between mentor and mentee, knowing what you want to achieve as a mentee, allocating time to meet, and, more importantly, go through constant self-evaluation.
As a mentee, your mentor cannot help you as best as they can if they don’t know where you need help. The best way to identify areas of opportunity is to take the time to reflect on your strengths, areas of growth, and desired goals. But don’t do it lightly — remember, this is in your best interest as a mentee. Invest your time in knowing yourself — if you think you already know things, there’s always room for improvement. As the tale of the overflowing teacup goes, if your teacup is already full, nothing more can be added. If you’ve never really taken the time to do this, or just want to keep improving, here’s a plan to do it:
Know your goals and what it will take to get there. Knowing what you want to achieve is part of the equation. You also need to know what it will take to get there. A couple of simple examples: if you want to lose weight, you know you have to eat well and exercise. If you want to get a promotion, you need to know the rules of the game — companies usually have a “leveling guideline” or requirements that need to be met before getting that promotion. In other words, know the game and the rules of the game first.
Take a look in the mirror. Now that you know what it will take to get there, it’s time to have a hard look at what you already check off the list and what you’re still missing or need reinforcing. Be honest with yourself and see where your strengths and opportunities are.
Solicit feedback. You have a general idea of where you stand vs the requirements to get to your goals. Now it’s time to solicit feedback from others: your family members, your co-workers, boss, customers, teachers, etc. Some call it “360-degree” feedback — and this is the hard part. It’s a humbling exercise to ask for feedback and get honest answers. This is just the beginning though, you can’t build a house if you don’t break ground and build a foundation.
Keep an open mind, and ask your feedback provider to be honest and respectful. Remind them that you are only looking to improve (even if you might already be an all-star player), and that you value their opinion. Listen respectfully, do not interrupt, and don’t get defensive. If what they offer isn’t quite clear, ask them to give you an example. Take notes and thank them for their time. Bonus: just by doing this exercise you’re also strengthening your relationship with the feedback provider, as you are proactively seeking their point of view and they can see you are genuinely interested in improving.
Connect the dots and ask for help. Now that you have all the responses, start connecting the dots. Is there conflicting advice? Are there common areas across the feedback you received? Are there any surprises or do they all point to something you knew or intuited already? When you summarize where you need help, that’s the pot of gold. You know exactly where you need help — go ask your mentor(s) for help with that.
As you get your mentor’s advice, be intentional: build a plan on how to improve — what specific actions will you take to check off the boxes and achieve your goals? This is called building a system — and as you might have already heard, systems are more effective and efficient than one-off actions.
