How to Make a Choice After Receiving Conflicting Advice
Have you ever asked for feedback or guidance from different mentors and other stakeholders and found conflicting messages? The more you seek independent points of view, the more options you will get in return. This is of course, normal; every person has their own experience and knowledge to guide their thinking. At the end of the day though, you have to make a choice, for if you keep following everyone’s advice, you will end up not achieving much.
Seeking multiple opinions from different points of view is valuable for two reasons: (1) there are multiple ways to achieve the same goal, and (2) different mentors will have different experiences that can help you understand the landscape of opportunities in front of you (as discussed in “Build a board of mentors”.) However, you need a set of tools to make a decision, especially when presented with conflicting feedback. Make sure your decision-making framework is based on the following: (1) “know thyself”, (2) know your goals, (3) know your resources and network.
Know Thyself
When thinking about what you want to achieve and what questions you need to answer to help you reach your goals, you have to reflect on who you are first. Reflect on questions such as:
- What are your values?
- Does the advice you just received align with your values?
- What is your strong suit?
- Who are your role models in life (past, present, family, friends, or public figures)
If the advice you are getting from your mentors or other stakeholders contradicts the responses to the questions above, then take that advice with a grain of salt. Although it is valuable to have additional points of view, the advice itself does not align with who you are.
Know your goals
We all need a North Star, else we are sailing the vast sea with no endpoint in sight. Without a goal, then you won’t even have the appropriate questions to ask a mentor. You might have generic questions in mind such as “what was your path like to get at where you are?”, but you might be asking them to the wrong person, or simply not caring enough about the response. In which case, having conflicting feedback won’t mean a thing, for you won’t have an objective to work backward from in the first place.
When you do know your goals, then it is easier to “discard” advice that, albeit well-intended, doesn’t quite fit your needs.
Know your resources and your network
Perhaps the advice you are getting is strong and aligns with who you are and what your goals are. However, it may require resources that you do not currently have or it may require access to someone beyond your current network’s reach. If that is the case, take baby steps. Prioritize actions where you can leverage your existing resources and network.
For example, one mentor tells you that in order to break into a different industry or career (career switchers), you need to go to graduate school. Another mentor tells you that you don’t need a graduate degree, all you need is to find the right person within your network to give you a chance to “learn on the job”. Both points of view are valid and could help you reach the same goal. Stop and evaluate your options.
If you have the time and financial resources to pursue a graduate degree, then that might be easier to take on. If, instead, you already know someone in your network who knows you well enough to give you a chance to “learn on the job”, then you could skip a two-year endeavor and start right away.
At the end of the day, you need to know who you are and where you want to go. On top of that, as time goes by and you develop your skills, you too will develop the sound judgment that will make it easier for you to make a choice. Don’t be afraid to make a choice, for even if you fail, reflect on the learnings and tweak your decision-making framework accordingly. This will only contribute more to your skillset and character in the long run.
